Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes

ENT 84: Having to Tell People They Suck to Their Face

March 04, 2020 Episode 84
Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes
ENT 84: Having to Tell People They Suck to Their Face
Chapters
Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes
ENT 84: Having to Tell People They Suck to Their Face
Mar 04, 2020 Episode 84
Patrick Hughes

It’s very difficult to give feedback and even harder to receive it without becoming defensive. No one wants to hear that they suck, and it really deflates that ego. You must look at it as constructive because a lot of people have bad tendencies.

I am in a 6-week, 192-hour leadership course and I must evaluate 32 people face to face. It’s tough.

Growing as a person and giving feedback is hard. Most of the time we are forced to give feedback or hate giving it, but it should be a more normal process in our work environment. It may hurt at first, but it will eventually make you better.

 

ACTION STEPS – Have someone give you feedback

Recommended Read: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

Show Notes Transcript

It’s very difficult to give feedback and even harder to receive it without becoming defensive. No one wants to hear that they suck, and it really deflates that ego. You must look at it as constructive because a lot of people have bad tendencies.

I am in a 6-week, 192-hour leadership course and I must evaluate 32 people face to face. It’s tough.

Growing as a person and giving feedback is hard. Most of the time we are forced to give feedback or hate giving it, but it should be a more normal process in our work environment. It may hurt at first, but it will eventually make you better.

 

ACTION STEPS – Have someone give you feedback

Recommended Read: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

Support the show (https://podcast.entrefied.com/gift)

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Are you ready to be entre Vied? Let's break free of the life we're told to live, create freedom and well, by adding value to others live challenge traditions, challenge authority and get on terrified. Hey, guys, welcome to the show Your host, Patrick Hughes. Here. Lovely march. Marching through another month of the year. I mean, crazy how fast? You know, time really flies, so they should listen to show. Go ahead, subscribe. Leave some reviews so other people can find this and everybody that's already listening out there. Thanks for listening to the show. Really appreciate. You really appreciate your feedback keeps us going. So you suck at telling people they suck. That's the premise of today. That is, what we're gonna be talking about is how you suck at telling people they suck. It's gonna funny saying, um it's very difficult to give feedback, and it's even harder to receive it without becoming defensive. I mean, if somebody tells you Hey, you suck. You kind of get defensive. You like What do you mean? You know? What do you mean you suck? You don't really hear them out before you get defensive, and I mean I do all the time when somebody tells me I could do something better, I'm like, Well, I do this way because I like to do this, This this and they're trying to tell me I can do it better And I'm not listening because I'm playing defensive. But in all actuality there, right? And so it's kind of And then a few days later, I'm kind of chewing on what they said, and eventually I swallow it and I'm like, You know what? Okay, I'm gonna start doing this, but it's almost like you want to make it to where you thought you did it. It's kind of like in relationships with your significant other when you when they say you should be doing this and then you don't listen. But then a week later, you start doing what you're saying. Definitely other says, and they're like, Well, I told you to do that. Why does somebody else have to tell you to do that? Why don't you listen to me? It's kind of funny how we become defensive and, uh, almost biased. What information we're gonna take in. And you had to be wary of that. Um, you need to be opened the feedback. And you also need to be able to be able to give feedback without being a total butthole about it. You know, if if I look at it fellow, get a co worker, and I say, Man, you're really bad. Dude, you just suck. And I just walk away. How's that gonna help? How's that gonna help? You know? So he had to be kind of tactful on how you say it, and we're gonna go over how you do that here in a little bit. So no one wants to hear that. They suck, and it really deflates their ego. I mean, it really does. Someone says, Hey, Patrick, you sound quality. Could be a little better. Buddy, you're kind of like, Well, I'm doing all I can do. May. I don't know what else to do. Well, they were just telling you, they didn't really tell you how to do it. And so it kind of it kind of leads to, you know, lower confidence for you. So you definitely want when you correct someone, make sure you have an answer and we'll go over an example here in a second. But let's keep growing along, so you must look as it has a look at the feedback as constructive. When someone gives you feedback on there, you have to look at it constructive because a lot of people have bad tendencies to get defensive. And even if it is, somebody just says, Hey, you suck. You should still be be saying Instead of being defensive, you should be saying, What could you tell me? How it could get better? And that's what's important is giving that feedback as well as receiving it. You know, I'm in a six week 192 our leadership course, and I had to evaluate 33 people face to face. I have to rank them, you know, from first to last. That's really hard, especially when you tell him to meet face to face to face being like, Hey, man, you're number 32. Like, How do you hell somebody that and not feel like you're awful person. I mean, it's really challenging, and that's why I'm taking this course, because I mean, it's really hard to do these things and going is a person, and giving feedback is really hard. You know, most of the time were forced to get feedback or hate giving it, but it should be a more normal process and their work environments. So instead of waiting for an employee to come to his 30 day Eve ao and be like, Hey, you suck, man, you should Maur being be looking at 15 day a vow that you made yourself. Let's say the 30 day vows on paper and the 15 days you just do it because you're being proactive. You go up to the employees, you say, Hey, let's go. Come to my office Let's talk So you set him down. You start talking to him as well as his supervisor, and he said, Hey, look and say, Let's say he's, you know, not performing great. It sails. So here's what you say. You say, Hey, look, Johnny, that's named Johnny. So Hey, look, Johnny, you're doing really great out there. We're really excited to have you, You know, it's awesome that you're here. Your numbers are kind of slacking, and it is is definitely something we wanna work on to get you to that 30 day go period. You have You have some time to make up and you have some time to pick it up. Pick up the pace and I know you. I know that you're a great worker. Ah, hard worker. And you're always here on time. You're dependable, so I know. Come that 30 evil. You can work harder. You can pick up the pace. You can be a better employees. I know you can do it. And I hope you accept this feedback. And that's how you have a one on one feedback session with your employees. And so now you're not getting to 30 days and being like, Hey, man, hate to write this down, but you suck, you know, because that way you're giving your proactively giving, um, reviews. And maybe he didn't know. Maybe he thought he was doing really good. And then when you told him that he's like, Oh, you know what? You're right. And then let's see. Johnny gets that 30 day evil and you come back and you look at his numbers and he doubled his production. Well, that's amazing. And that's totally possible if you're proactive. But at the same time, you have to do that, you know, kind of nice sandwich where you lead off with something nice. You put it in the middle that this is where you suck and then you finish off nice. You don't have to always do it that way. You could just throw a little bit of nice in there with a little bit of bad. And when they do realize, don't say. But don't be like, Hey, Johnny, you really great. It sells, but you suck. You know that saying that, but saying the word. But it just it just automatically set up defenses, every employee. So you what you should say is Johnny doing really great out there? I think there's room for improvement. I think that you could get better here. I believe that you need to work on this and those air proper ways to address and negative, um, aspect of the employees. So keep that in mind and it may hurt. At first it may hurt. It may hurt you to give the advice. It may hurt you to accept the advice. It's gonna hurt. It's definitely gonna hurt. Let's just be honest. Everybody hates there you go. Getting kicked in the in between the legs. I mean, it's a real It's a real painful kick. Um, to get Have somebody tell you Hey, you could work on this part and it's really hard to be humble. It really is. And that is it's important that you just you just think about what they're saying and then you're like, You know what, man? You're right. You're right. Don't fight it. Don't be defense except the feedback. Take it and grow. And if you don't, you become stagnant and you fall to the wayside. Don't be that guy. So he's the intercept for today. I know I've been kind of cutting these episodes a little shorter, and that's because I'm kind of short on time being at this 192 our leadership course. There's a lot of reading and studying that goes into it. So I've kind of been doing, you know, shorter episodes. But I'm still here every single day for you guys. I'm not gonna do I'm not gonna leave. I'm not gonna leave. I thought I was going to cut the episodes back, but I'm not I'm not. I'm here for you guys every single day. I want to show you that you could be consistent and you can be a leader. And you can take control of your life, your situation, and be a positively and make a positive impact on people. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to have someone give you some feedback. Have an unbiased answer. Don't ask your wife because she probably gonna be like, Yeah, you, Sook should as as somebody that knows you. But isn't there with you every day? Like maybe your brother may be your brother. Be like, Hey, man, what do you think I could work out? You know, we don't hang out every single day because, you know, hopefully not well, understand. Hopefully hopefully you have a close connection with your brother sister. But just calm up. You like a man. What do you think about me? What do you think I could work on or call some of your friends? But don't don't. Don't get somebody so close to you like a daughter or your wife. Anybody like that? Because they're going to give you by saying seemed like Oh, you just You're great, Dad. You're perfect. You don't want that. You want true advice? So have someone give you feedback If you want me to give you feedback. You can text me 615 4318389 Just text me and be like, Hey, man, I'd like Thio get some feedback from you and we'll give you some feedback. They'll give you some honest feedback from on biased source because that's what you really need. Somebody who doesn't really know you are personally like 100%. They do know you personally. Let's say that. But they're not like, you know, in an intimate setting like your wife, your Children. It's someone who knows you pretty well, but not so well that they're gonna, you know, construe their answer or misconstrue their answer and be like, Yeah, you're ah, you're really great person. You don't have any flaws. You don't want that answer. So anyway, have someone give you feedback. You can text me 61543183889 So, 615 4318389 and I'll get you some feedback. So thanks to listen the show today Have a great day. Are you feeling entre fied yet? We hope so. For more information and news updates check us out at www dot entre five dot com or contact Patrick directly on facebook dot com slash patrick Hughes 9000
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