Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes

ENT 64: Elevating Your Mind and Creating More Abundance in Your Life with Dr. Ryan Gottfredson

February 13, 2020 Episode 64
Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes
ENT 64: Elevating Your Mind and Creating More Abundance in Your Life with Dr. Ryan Gottfredson
Chapters
Becoming Entrefied with Patrick Hughes
ENT 64: Elevating Your Mind and Creating More Abundance in Your Life with Dr. Ryan Gottfredson
Feb 13, 2020 Episode 64
Patrick Hughes

Our Guest Dr. Ryan Gottfredson is here to talk about mindset and how it can positively change your life on a whole new level.

Ryan Gottfredson, PhD., is a mental success coach and cutting-edge leadership consultant, author, trainer, and researcher.  He helps improve organizations, leaders, teams, and employees by improving their mindsets. 

We ask Dr. Ryan what he has in the works and what value he is providing for people with his programs.

Four sets of mindsets

1.    Fixed and Growth Mindsets – How do these impact your business and life?

2.    Open and Closed Mindsets – Are there necessary times to have these?

3.    Prevention and Promotion Mindsets – Can you change this?

4.    Inward and Outward Mindsets – This seems like selfishness 

Discussion session – Jeff (Co-host) and I will ask a series of discussion questions around mindset and provide different scenarios.

1.    Isn’t being an entrepreneur about going against the grain and fighting social conformity? 

2.    Wouldn’t you have to be closed-minded to some extent here?

3.    Aggressive mindset vs passive mindset.

Learn more about Dr. Ryan and take his mindset assessment here.

And don't forget to pick up your copy of Dr. Ryan's new book, here.

What’s the most life-changing book Dr. Ryan has read?
It's actually a journal: Gratitude Journal: Journal 5 minutes a day to develop gratitude, mindfulness, and productivity: 90 Days of daily practice, spending five minutes to cultivate happiness

Show Notes Transcript

Our Guest Dr. Ryan Gottfredson is here to talk about mindset and how it can positively change your life on a whole new level.

Ryan Gottfredson, PhD., is a mental success coach and cutting-edge leadership consultant, author, trainer, and researcher.  He helps improve organizations, leaders, teams, and employees by improving their mindsets. 

We ask Dr. Ryan what he has in the works and what value he is providing for people with his programs.

Four sets of mindsets

1.    Fixed and Growth Mindsets – How do these impact your business and life?

2.    Open and Closed Mindsets – Are there necessary times to have these?

3.    Prevention and Promotion Mindsets – Can you change this?

4.    Inward and Outward Mindsets – This seems like selfishness 

Discussion session – Jeff (Co-host) and I will ask a series of discussion questions around mindset and provide different scenarios.

1.    Isn’t being an entrepreneur about going against the grain and fighting social conformity? 

2.    Wouldn’t you have to be closed-minded to some extent here?

3.    Aggressive mindset vs passive mindset.

Learn more about Dr. Ryan and take his mindset assessment here.

And don't forget to pick up your copy of Dr. Ryan's new book, here.

What’s the most life-changing book Dr. Ryan has read?
It's actually a journal: Gratitude Journal: Journal 5 minutes a day to develop gratitude, mindfulness, and productivity: 90 Days of daily practice, spending five minutes to cultivate happiness

Support the show (https://podcast.entrefied.com/gift)

spk_1:
00:07
Are you ready to be entre vied? Let's break free of the life we're told to live, create freedom and well, by adding value to others live challenge traditions, challenge authority and get entre fied. Hey, guys, welcome to the show. Hope you ready to get our defied the day we actually have a special here for you. It is our first well real guests episode. You know, it's always me and Jeff. Sure, you guys are tired of hearing our voices by now, so we thought we'd bring it on. Dr. Ryan got Ferson. Hope I said that. Right. Did I say that? Right, Doctor. Okay, um, he's our guest today. You know, he's an expert in leadership, and he's up, you know, huge life, coach. Mentor CEOs massive. You know, just huge, huge wealth of information. So glad too heavy here today. Jeff. Glad to have you here too. This is gonna be a kind of different. You know, most people do one on one. This is kind of a one on one on one, so I'm
spk_2:
01:13
in trouble. I think you should give up on me
spk_0:
01:17
double team. I'll tell you what. I'm really excited about having him on the show. Ryan, I just appreciate you being here like Patrick said it. So he's got a wealth of knowledge. I've heard some of this stuff, and I mean, I'm really excited about it. So we just want to welcome you here and kind of let you get started and tell us a little bit about your book and what you got going on and just kind of give us a little bit of Ah, the great value. I know. I've heard in different things that you've done
spk_2:
01:41
there. Yeah, for sure. Think Yeah. Thanks for having me on. I really appreciate you trusting me to put me in front of your audience S O. That can be risky at times, but I appreciate it. And so hopefully we'll add some night, you hear? Um, let me just maybe just give folks a little bit about my background. I'm a leadership professor at Cal State Fullerton, and I primarily focus on mindsets as a way of developing ourselves. And the way that I came across focusing on mindsets is when I'm doing my dissertation at Indiana University. I was doing my dissertation on leadership. I was summarizing the last 70 years of leadership research on what I found is that the majority of this research focused on leadership behaviors. In other words, what do we need to do to be effective leaders? And I think that that's good and it could be helpful. But I also it also didn't sit well with me. I think it's a little shortsighted because and you gentlemen would probably agree with me that leadership is more than just doing the right things. It's about being a certain type of person. And so for the last seven years I've been trying to dive into how do we capture this being element of leadership and everything's led me to mindsets. And so over the course of the last couple of years, I've been working on my book. It just was released, The E Book, an audio book, and it's all designed to help people in the way get out of their own way of success. And if we can awaken to our mind, sets the mental lenses that we're wearing Tiu Tiu, that affects how we see the world. Then we can empower ourselves to put on better lenses to see the world more positively and therefore think behave more positively, and then be more successful.
spk_1:
03:30
Oh, good stuff. Yeah, I, uh I've been in the military for about seven years. I went from the army to the Air Force, and I have seen a lot of different leaders, had a lot of different leaders, and I myself had became a leader. And I completely agree, you know, habits. That's just one part of it. So I'm happy that, you know, someone has kind of went deeper because I read the book good to Great. Bye. Um, I forgot that other name Jim Collins, I think. Yeah. Um, yeah. I read that book, you know, talks about level five leadership, and it, you know, focuses on more habits. Kind of like what you say behaviors. So I think it's interesting that you Ah, you dive in on this and so, you know, kind of kind of, I guess I was looking at your work what you were working on, and I saw your little your pyramid you had going on. And if the base of it was mindsets, can you kind of explain a little bit about that?
spk_2:
04:28
Yeah. Let's even back our way. into this base of this foundation. So if we start, if we kind of think about a pyramid and that the tip of the pyramid is where we want to end up in that success, well, what is the immediate driver of our success? Uh, like I think it's our behaviors, like so what we do drives our success. And so that's That's why I think many people focus on behaviors when it comes to either leadership development or personal development. We think I've gotta do things different because if I do things differently that I'm gonna be more successful. But what we don't realize is that there's drivers of our behavior, So if we think what's the immediate driver of our behaviors, Right, Well, that's gonna be our thinking. How will we think drives how we behave, how we behave drives our success. And so when it comes to leadership and personal development, my guess is that about 90% of people focus on behaviors. My guess is about 9% of people focus on thinking we're just getting in the deeper level. We're gonna be more successful if we do that, but then I think we need to ask ourselves what drives our thinking, And that's our mindset. This See how we see the world shapes, how we think how we behave and how successful we are. Do you care, given example to kind of demonstrate this? Yes, sure. All right, so I was really fascinated by this. I read this the other day, so I live in Southern California, and apparently, California has The homeless population in California is half of what the entire United States homeless population. It's Wow. Which is blew my mind away. I mean, we're a big state. Nice weather. Like I get it. Um, but But what this means for me is when I drive from my house, the work. It's not uncommon for me to see a homeless person to Nancy for assistance of one of these stop lights. And and so we've all come across people, homeless people, asking for assistance. How do you see these people? Well, do you see? Do you want an answer?
spk_1:
06:43
I was going to say I I you know, I think that they're trying the best that they have with what they have, because they could have had life situations, like, you know, family members could have. You know said, Hey, we can't help you or other people and they may be giving 110% and maybe that's just where they are now.
spk_2:
07:04
So I think that you're spot on and I also think that you're better than most of us. Um because I will say I and I'm in kind of a steam to admit this for most of my adult life. When I would see them, I would see them is not doing their best, and and I, when I would see them, is not doing their best. I was really quick to be critical, like, What are you doing? Like you're asking for my hard earned money and you're just standing there like, Why don't you go do something? Maybe better, with your time I get a job or least try to find a job. And that was kind of my way of thinking. Well, what's the likelihood of me actually assisting them or navigating that situation in the most successful way? It's not gonna be very likely, but if we do what you talked about and see them is doing the best that they can to me when I started to say, Oh, are they doing the best they can It lead me to ask a question which has been really profound for me, which is what the world has happened in their life that has led them to believe that this is the best way to live. And immediately upon asking a question, I quickly grow empathetic and wonder what in the world has gone on in your life that you are living with us. And how can I be a best service to you? Because that might be money. But it might be something completely different. You see, when we see them is doing the best that we can. We're much more likely to navigate that situation in a way that were more successful in the way that's closer to our ideal cells. And so here we've got this one situation in which two people can see a situation differently, and depending upon how they see it, they think, and they behave differently and they navigate that environment at different levels of success. Does that make sense that articulate that pyramid? Yeah, Yeah,
spk_1:
09:02
that's really good. I mean it, really. I really agree. I think it really does come down to mind it because, like you say, you could look it. I believe that everything you can look at it at least three different ways. We may beam or, you know, it's kind of like a coin. There's always there's three sides of the coin is top bottom in the middle. I believe so. You know, looking at people in those situations there is there is definitely different ways you can look at it in different ways. You can approach those and, you know, realizing. I think having the self actualization to realize that you were looking at this in a negative light as opposed to a positive light is very important and growing as a person. And the leader, Um, what do you think about that, Jeff?
spk_0:
09:50
I think this kind of parlays into so many different areas that he's using one particular example and I just see it in my own life was just dealing with people. I mean, if I come in it from a different point of view, if somebody comes up to you and I say something like, Well, I need to do this right now, you know, they may be under stress to get that done, and you may be taking it a different way. You may be taking like they're just giving the orders and a whole lot of the time. How we respond is how we're what we're thinking. And, you know, when you talk about mindset, you talk about states, you know what I mean. If you find yourself in one of those successful, productive states, you may take that in stride. And maybe I don't see why I need to help out. I need to be a support system. And then if you look at it from, who are they to, you know, tell me what to do. You know, whether it be your family, your friends or whatever. But it comes back to your thoughts and how you you know, you're thinking about the situation in the trend, which that's kind of going really, really deep by Frank, and I don't want to get down in the weeds of that. But what I'm trying to say is we need to make sure that we're viewing things right and we're looking at it through the right lens or we can come up with wrong answers like, for instance, with somebody that's let's say they're homeless. I mean, you don't know if they've had medical situations, you know, in their life, you know, you don't know. They're if they're there could be a whole plethora of information information that you don't you're not privy to and you don't know. But if you look into the lens of oh, I know why they're like that, it's because of the districts because that it's like it taints your whole judgment on that situation. What do you think about that?
spk_2:
11:31
Yeah, I think you're spot on, I think. And here's the challenge for us is we all think that how we see the world is the best way to see the world. Ah, and the reason why I feel comfortable saying that is because if we thought we could see the world better, we would have done so already. And so our life throughout her life we've been led to see the world in the way that we see the world it and what we don't realize is that how we see the world may not be the best way to see the world. So if we kind of literally compare our mind sets to being glasses on our heads. I don't know about you, but I don't wear glasses except when I'm driving and I'll wear sunglasses. But literally, when I'm driving around wearing sunglasses, all lose consciousness of the fact that I have glasses on my head. In fact, just the other day I was driving south to Carlsbad off Oranje, and when I first started, it was really sunny out. But then some storm clouds came over and and I have been wearing my sunglasses and I'm like, halfway there, I'm thinking, Why is it so dark? I'm like, Oh, like I'm wearing sunglasses. So I once I realized it, then I could take him off and I could do something about it. So each of us have got our own unique lenses that causes the view, the world in our own unique ways. But and we come to accept that as being the best way to view the world, And what we don't realize is that it's not the only way to be viewed the world, and it may not be the best, and then tell we will awaken to that fact. We're not gonna have any motivation to take off our sun blasts. It's only when we awaken to the fact that how will we see the world may not be the best way to see the world. Do we become empowered to change and shift our lenses? Yeah. Yeah.
spk_0:
13:26
Good. I agree with that.
spk_1:
13:27
Yeah, that's I mean, it's that's really powerful. So Well, that I think we got that pyramid really, really built out there. So, um, I guess we can
spk_0:
13:37
I'd like to bring one more thing about a kind of talk about it for a minute. You know, I noticed you take, for instance, my family and even my daughter. I mean, she sees things a little bit different than I do, you know, own things. And that's okay. I mean, we all are individuals, you know? And what I'm looking at is is I know she goes to school and she learns things, and I'm sure that she has learned more information. Her being younger and growing up in there spend advancements. And she looks at things in a different you. And I just want to take a minute. And because I know this is something I think Ryan has talked about before the information that you get like from reading books and from being around successful people and successful things and kind of getting a different look different things. I mean, for instance. I mean, if you're always around your family, you're gonna probably your ideology and the way you think it's gonna be a whole lot like how they are because that's what you've been exposed to. I'd like to ask Dr Ryan in regards to finding Maur If formacion How much does that influence? Uh, how we think and how we feel the information that we're going out here in reading books, finding more information. It kind of takes us out of our comfort zone.
spk_2:
14:59
Yeah, I mean, it's huge. So our current mindsets are based upon how we were raised and the current environment that we existed. And so let me give you, I guess let me even back up, and I'm gonna combine your question based on what we were just talking about. So if we all kind of think that our current lenses of the best way to see the world what I've actually found out because I have a personal minds that assessment that people could take, and I've had over 10,000 people take my assessment. And what I found is that only 5% are in the top court tile of four different sense of mindsets that I focus on. What suggests that we could all develop and improve our mind sets essentially 95% of us that we've got room to grow to improving the lenses that we used to view the world. Now I focus on four sets of mind sets because these four sets that I focus on have been researched it in the academic literature for over 30 plus years. And so I know that these certain mindsets lead to success. There's other mindsets that we could talk about and even bring up, like even political points of view. Um, that might be even classified as as mindsets. I don't necessarily focus on those not because they aren't mindset, but because I don't have 30 plus years of research demonstrating that they lead to success or not. But let me give you, let me kind of dive into this example. You said it's with your daughter, right?
spk_0:
16:30
Well, that's just an example, but I'm talking about. I'm noticing that, you know, even how I think compared to my family, like my mom and my dad and the different things that you could just start start to see that each generation has a different slant. Just a little bit of slant different than where you're at, you know, And I mean, you may be, for the most part, agreeing on a lot of things, But as the generation the next generation comes up, it's like there's there's something in just a little bit different and I won't call it bad and I won't call it good because it just depends on what it is. But what I'm saying is there is there is that they have been exposed to different things, and I'm really curious as to the exposure of how that changes you. I mean, is it primarily when you're a, you know, a child growing up? Honey, I mean, when you reach a certain age, I think we've become a little bit more resistant to change and you know, growth and things like that. Regardless, the mindset Would you agree with that Or what do you think?
spk_2:
17:33
Yes. So you one of the things that it's really important for us to understand is that our brain matures over time. And when we hit the age of 25 is it about the time that her brain stops maturing and he's become just a little bit more solidified? So our mind sets up until we're 25? Are more likely to change than after we're 25. Um, but But regardless, I think the good news and this is why I love focusing on mindsets is regardless of our age, we can always shift our mindsets. And in fact, research finds that relatively small interventions such as a three minute video, a writing two paragraphs of 15 minute training I'll can shift our mind sets for at least 2 to 4 weeks. Wow! Wow! And if we can? And then this is where the habits come in because we we talked a little bit about habits. What happens if we can engage in these interventions on a repeated basis over time? Do you see group What our minds? That's what kind of described our mindsets is being mental lenses. What they really are is their neural connections within our prefrontal cortex. So when we encounter a situation. Our senses are sending all sorts of information to our prefrontal cortex, which is the executive center of her brain, And our brain doesn't have the capacity to absorb all the information that is coming. And so what our brain does isn't relies upon our Our mind sets these neural connections filter in specific information that the minds that steam most important and then interpret that information in unique waits and depending upon the information that comes in and how we interpret that information that activates different elements about how we should present ourselves in that situation.
spk_1:
19:30
Uh, that's good.
spk_2:
19:31
And and so when we talk about shifting our mindsets, what we want to do is what we want to activate and strengthen our positive mindset. Neural connections. And the more that essentially, we need to exercise them like a muscle that the more we exercise them, the stronger they are, the stronger they are. We we rely upon them or across the situations that we encounter so we can have a negative mindset that maybe says constructive criticism is a bad thing and you should get defensive. We could also have a positive mindset that says constructive criticism is a good thing because you can learn and grow because of it. Right? We've got both of those neural connections in our prefrontal cortex. Well, which one you rely upon is the one that's stronger. And we could recognize that and strengthen our more positive mindset. Neural connection. We can navigate those situations more effectively. That make sense.
spk_0:
20:31
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. And I don't want to talk. Go all the time. Patrick here. But he's just got a wealth of information is really good. Yeah, You're gonna have to jump in there, jump over the top of me, Patrick. You wantto I'm we'll just pick his
spk_1:
20:44
brain. Well, I was just going to say being, you know, kind of looting mortar business. You're being being poor being rich. That's a mind set in and of itself being stuck in the current situation. That's a mind, too, because you're not stuck in that situation. You got his progress and, you know, kind of going back to you. Said only 5% of people scored in the top percentile in your in your assessment. Well, I won't tell quick story here. Um, you know, course. Some of the military. So I meet a lot of World War two veterans. So one time I met this guy, Captain Jerry Neil. He was a fighter pilot in World War Two and he was in Korea, and, um, he actually no, I'm sorry. This is a different guy. Has a difficult like me. A lot of guys. I I don't remember this guy's name of time. My head. I was thinking about the Jerry Captain Jerry because he also I saw him today. But the other guy, he was a speaker and he was a He was also a fighter pilot, but he wrote a book on it. I don't have it near me, but anyway, in his book, he every single book, he puts a sticky note in the page. I'll tell you why in a second, So every every in this book, what happened was he went to war to he got shot down behind enemy lines. He was a prisoner of war for seven years. For seven years he was in a jail cell and he he came back. He survived. He you know, better than ever. And he wrote a book about it, and he talks about Ford progression and how Every day you can progress, you can always progress. You never can really be perfect at something. And, you know, he used the example of push ups. He said he would do one push up than to push ups. And by the end, he said, he claimed he was doing like 2000 which is crazy. But so what he does is every book. He puts a sticky note and on that sick, you know, he says, Put this sticky note on your bathroom window and I want you to ride on that sticky note something, everything that you have mastered. And so every day I go into my bathroom, I look and there's a sticky note in his blank because I have not mastered everything in my life because there's more things I can learn and more ways I can grow. So if you guys don't have a sticky note on your bathroom window, put it on your bathroom window and stare at it and think about what? Here's what I have to work on. Oh wow, this is blank. It looks like I got a lot to work on, so just throwing that out there. But, um so moving into the four sets of mindsets here, let's go and talks about fixing growth mindset. You know, how do these impact your business? Your life, Doctor Ryan?
spk_2:
23:24
Yeah, in your example. Just be driving to this fixture growth mindset, because what you're suggesting is that and what That's such a great example of it an intervention that exercises are positive mind sets. Because when when you're putting the sticky note and you're saying I don't no everything, I have room to grow, and I and we're making that assumption I can grow. And that's a growth mindset is when we believe that we could change our talents, abilities and intelligence when we have a fixed mindset that we don't believe that we can change our talents, abilities and intelligence. And here's why it matters. If we don't believe that we can improve and when we fail, how are we left to interpret that?
spk_1:
24:11
Wait? Think it. We think that is the only chance we ever have. And we're never gonna try that again.
spk_2:
24:19
Player. Exactly. We internalize this as though we're a failure. So roughly about half of the population in the United States has a fixed mindset is what the research is down. So that means that half of us when we fail at something, we interpret that as though we are failures. So when we have a fixed and we don't like being a failure, so when we have a fixed mindset, our primary focus is on looking good. We're only gonna take on the tasks that we feel comfortable doing. We'll never take on the task that might. We're just not sure if we'll be successful because we don't want to fail, and it's. But when we have a growth mindset, we believe that we can improve. We don't care about failing or not, because actually, we probably already understand that failure is where I'm going toe, learn and grow the most. So bring it on. And so that's the difference between fixing growth is when we have a fix myself were inclined to avoid challenges and failure. Where is when we have a growth mindset or inclined to take take on challenges? Uh, let me just give you a really quick example of this. A personal example. When I was a freshman year, a freshman in college, I wanted to become a medical doctor. And so I signed up for the Wieder premed chemistry class. And at the end of that first semester, I got the lowest grade I'd ever re see. So I got a C grade I had passed. But to me, that was a failing grade. Like I had failed. And I had a fixed mindset of the time. And what my fixed mindset told me to do was essentially said, this didn't come naturally to you. You better change your major. And that's what I did to me. That was my best option. I just kind of gave up on my dream of becoming a doctor because I didn't do well in a single chemistry class. Well, where is I think like I look back on that I think if I could have had a growth mindset, how would I have thought about it differently? And I think I would have said, Well, what can I learn from this situation? Well, I could probably learn that becoming a medical doctor is gonna be harder than I anticipated and to my study. My study habits suck, and it may want to re evaluate those that would have been a growth mindset perspective. It would have been much more healthy for tea. Take that approach. And that would have let me quote closer to my dreams and goals than my fixed mindset that just essentially said, give up, change your major, Do something easier.
spk_0:
26:46
Yeah, good. And definitely say that. You know, I was before you brought this up. I was sitting here thinking about when you started about constructive criticism. You know, I'd like to think that I do that well, and maybe I do. Maybe I don't. But, you know, if you look at it from the point of view, if you can take constructive criticism and roll with it and learn, you know, then you can grow. But you give a reaction, a response to somebody. But if you cannot take constructive criticism, you're also going to be giving a response. So depending upon how you take it and how you react to that, you get there for scenarios you get. I mean, it's like it can change your whole day, and sometimes it even spoons into other things on down. I'm down the road for you, so I mean, we when you look at it from the standpoint that one little decision that you make you know, that person thinks I'm let's say they're tryingto, you know, give you some more information on the subject and you take it is they think you're a native. I mean, it kind of depending on how you look at that, I mean, it could damage the relationship, and it might not have been that way at all. But it can also You can also carry that with you. So I mean, it can influence you saw. I mean mindsets air. Definitely important. Well,
spk_2:
28:09
you're you're giving us a perfect Segway into the next set of mindsets. Do you carefully just jump out, Rollo! Rollo! All right, so So the next set of mindset. So we talked to just talk about fixing growth. The next set is the difference between closed and open mind sets. And so when we have a closed mind set were closed to the ideas and suggestions of others. When we're open, we're open toe, other's ideas and suggestions. And here's, you know, you just described essentially the negative effects of having a closed mind set is we end up shooting down the ideas and suggestions of others, which can have some pretty severe negative effects on those individuals. Well, what leads somebody to be closed minded? The people that are cool, close minded, believe that what they know is best. And if we kind of compare our minds to a bucket, how full is our bucket? When we have a closed mind set, our bucket is full. And what happens if we pour like water into a full bucket? What happens to that water overflows just goes out the site, right? We're not able to absorb it or take it in, and that's the epitome of a closed mind set. So when we believe that what we know is best, our primary focus becomes, we want to be seen as being right. So we become the one providing all the answers. We're not asking any questions were avoiding me back or avoiding new perspectives. We see disagreement and constructive criticism as threats again because we believe that what we know is best but those with an open mind set. It's not that they can't be an expert on the topic. They just leave room in their bucket for the idea that they could be wrong. And when we leave room in our bucket that we could be wrong. Our primary focus is no longer on being seen is right. It's about finding truth and thinking optimal. So when we're seeking to find truth and think, ultimately we start asking questions. We invite feedback. We invite new perspectives that we see disagreement and constructive criticism as opportunities toe learning. And so that's a different unit closed in an open mind set and the difference for a leader. The difference that those mindsets have on followers is tangible. I mean, we could feel the difference in the room. It's almost in the way that it's presented is the closed mind set is generally this top down leader, ship commanding control. Whereas the open mind set This is the bottom up and powering
spk_0:
30:44
leadership that we want. So
spk_1:
30:47
so asking for a friend. How do you become more open minded?
spk_2:
30:56
Well, no, I think it is. Just that idea is, one is we've got to make that switch in our brain just like mentally give ourselves some room for the idea that we could be wrong, that we just don't have complete information. And when we give ourselves that freedom, it just mentally freezes up to be able to go on new ideas, new information. And it's not that we have to run with those ideas, right? We can always have a stiff back. What an open mind set means is that we simultaneously have a soft front were just able to take in the ideas and suggestions of others. Um, another, um, recommendation That, uh, I would give to your friend is a fantastic book that I think has done wonders for my emotional intelligence is a book called I Hear You, and it's written by Michael Sorenson. And it's like, Fine dollars on Audible, so there's no excuse not to get it. But it's all about how how to effectively validate other people. And in order to be in a position of validating other people, we've gotta have an open mind set. So I think that that is something a book or a tool that could be really
spk_0:
32:15
Oh, Dr Ryan, let me ask you a question. Can I just go up? Somebody say Dr Ron told me that you should consider the fact that you you could be wrong. I could use you know, I could use a doctor's opinion on them. You know what I mean? I could say you needed least consider the fact that you could be wrong. Anyway, what
spk_2:
32:36
you couldn't d'oh rather than that is you could send them to my website and have him take my mindset assessment for free. And I mean, that's one of the values. And I use this assessment when I worked with leaders, because what it does is it compared to the quality of your current mindset. That's relative to 10,000 other people who have taken the assessment. So it gives you really objective information about the quality of your mindset. You really can't refute it. Um And so But I sit down with leaders. Of course. You know, most of these leaders and organizations are thinking, Yeah, I'm the most experienced I know the most. So I should be the one that's kind of commanding what people should do, and I'm not in. This isn't to say that they don't have the experience or they don't know the best thing. But if they're continually commanding and they're not getting the voice, the sound of their people, their people are disengaged. And so we've got Thio. Just be even if we know everything, even just taking in the ideas of others will allow change and progress on to be made much more smoothly.
spk_0:
33:43
Yeah, that's what I tell you what I heard at one time said that, you know, even if you don't have the position of leader leads, regardless of the position that they're free in. And I thought that that was a really good statement, you know, one of the things and this is actually some information that I had got that said, You know, you wait for a situation toe, happen to see if somebody's gonna stand up and go for it, you know? But it ain't like you're trying to push ahead of the pack. But if you're if somebody's not addressing something, if you're always willing to stand up and make forward action and Ford right action, you know it's it's right to do, and it's the best thing to do, and you're not really jumping ahead. But if you always look at it from the standpoint, you always want to do the right thing, and you're always there to put in the work. I mean, you know those air the leader. You don't necessarily have to have a position because what winds up happening if you're that top person, believe me, it doesn't go unnoticed. Eventually people noticed, and you're going to draw you even drawn negativity to yourself. But if the right people see that, you probably get put in the position. But ultimately, I think having the integrity of a leader is about being a leader, regardless of what you have the role or not as faras the quote unquote position for it. But one of the things that I wanted Thio ask about and I thank you a doctor around. You talked a little bit about this, but one of the things you talked about, it's so interesting to me, and I will like to know where you can find those holes in your mindset. Is it from taking this assessment that you're talking about?
spk_2:
35:25
Um, yeah, definitely. The the assessment will help, because again, it provides us with objective information about the quality of our mind sets on. And then also I think I've heard it said. In fact, Bob Quinn, who's one of the leading experts on organizational, personal change. He's a professor emeritus professor at University of Michigan. He says that people transform for one of two reasons either a crisis or deep learning. Mmm. And really one of those two is something that we have control over right, which is the deep learning component. And so, truly, if we want to be this leader, what you talked about be somebody. Whether or not we're in a leadership position, leadership is about influence in your ability to positively influence those around you. And if you want to become more of a positive influence, I think you cannot get there without some form of deep learning. So the assessment is a helpful tool. But we've got to back that up with the deep learning. And that's one of the reasons why I wrote my book. Success. Mindsets is to help people dive into these different mind sets in a much deeper level in a level that allows them to not only awaken to their current mindsets, but also see more positive paradigms toe operate.
spk_0:
36:43
Can you tell us a little bit about where they can get that book?
spk_2:
36:47
Yeah, the best place to go is is my website and then from there, you could do some jumping off if you want to get e book or the audio book. Also, I have some free giveaways. So, for example, if you buy the e book, I'll give you the audio book for free or vice versa. I've got a webinar on mindsets that gives you It's an hour long and deep dive on some of these things that we're talking about, so there's some helpful. There's even a digital mindset coach that's designed to help you exercise your more positive mindset. Neural connections. So but what excites the best place? Because there's so much great information there
spk_0:
37:23
really a possum content. I tell you what it doctor on. If you was into man, we just have a whole Siri's.
spk_2:
37:30
Yeah, well, I don't know what I mean. Let's do it on the ideas.
spk_0:
37:34
You know what I'm talking about? I'm just getting all the information, you know what I mean? Yeah, well, there's one more thing I want to bring up, but I know Patrick's got a lot to you. I'm just kind of I'm just kind of jumping and only Patrick cause he's got a lot of good information here. I want to touch on something that effects so many people. And that's when you first wake up and you have that. I'm gonna have a good day or I'm gonna have a bad day is and I don't want to just put you on the spot here. I know there's some things that we can kind of do. Would you do you recommend morning routines? How can you have more successful dates? In other words, and ice, like morning routines is one thing.
spk_2:
38:16
Yeah, let me kill two birds with one stone of that. That's okay. Yeah. Uh, so I'm gonna jump into another set of mindsets that I focus on, and I'm gonna give you a specific tool that helped me with that particular mindset. So? So that another set of mine since I focus on is the difference between a prevention and the promotion lights. So when we have a prevention, my mindset, we're primarily focused on not losing. When we have a promotion focus, we're primarily focused on winning and gains and to kind of articulate the difference between the two. Um, let's let's assume that we're a ship captain in the middle of the ocean. And if we have a prevention mindset, our number one focus means that will will be focused on not sinking. And that's our focus. Then we don't want any problems to occur. We don't want to take any risk. We don't want to rock the boat. And when the storm comes on the horizon, our inclination is going to be to run from the storm to a place of safety. Well, we've got to ask ourselves, Is that place that we run to you? Is that the destination that we originally set out for? It's unlikely, right? So when we have this prevention might set were primarily comfort focused, but with really good intentions, right? Because we don't want the boat to run. We don't want the boat to see. We've got really good intentions, but we end up in the destiny. You should know we didn't decide. But if we're a ship captain with the promotion mindset, that means we have a clear destination that we're headed towards. And so when that storm comes on, the rising we asked ourselves is that storm stand between me and my destination? And if the answer is yes, then we make preparations for facing that storm. We batten down the hatches and we take the risk of going again. It's the winds and the currents because that's the only way we will end up in our in the destination that we're seeking. And so I present this to go back to your question is, for most of my adult life, I had a prevention mindset. In fact, I mean, I didn't say that. I've done some pretty cool things. I think getting a PhD is pretty cool, a lot of work, but at the same time, I had a prevention mindset about because you're Dwight is I saw being a professor is having break work, work like down. I could do a job that was enjoyable. I wouldn't have to bust my back to do it, and I would make a decent cellar like I was kind of just doing what was easy, But not I didn't have a destination that I was shooting towards, so I was largely just kind of going with the flow. But then a few years ago I had a gentleman who a CEO of a business, who handed me a book that's called the five minute journal. Have either of you heard of the five paternal?
spk_1:
41:05
I think so. I think I heard a grand car. Don't talk a little bit about it. Um,
spk_2:
41:10
okay, so he hands it to me and he says, This is going to change your life. And in the back of my mind, I'm like, there's no way in hell I'm journal. Like I don't journal, I'm not gonna journal. And then, of course. And you verbally, I say to him, Oh, yeah, Awesome. I can't wait to use it. So I bring it home and I look at it and what it is is it's got three questions that you answer in the morning and two questions that you answer it and the three questions in the morning are three things you're grateful for. What are three things that would make today great and then enter in a couple of self affirmations. And then at the end of the day, it's what are three amazing things that happened today. And how could I made today even better? And this is like just a daily practice designed to be five minutes, and I started doing it. I was like, I'll do it for two weeks since you have And I started doing it and I started, you know, noticed some pretty big shifts because what was happening is I was starting to want to make today better than yesterday. So I started getting a competition with myself. And after doing this for a few weeks, something I've gotta not only focus on today being better than yesterday, I gotta focus on this month being better than last month and this year being better than last year. And so then I started to utilize some other books like I used what's called a full focus planner is produced by Michael. Hi, it It's a planner that allows me to connect my long term goals to my daily actions. Um, and all of the stepping stones in between. And so the five minute journal is the first thing that I do every morning, and I credit that journal for being the exercise for exercising my positive mindset neural connection, specifically my own promotion mindset, neural connections. And as I did that on a daily basis, I shifted from a prevention mindset to a promotion mindset, and without that, I would have never started up my own consulting business, I would have never written a book. I wouldn't be having this conversation with you guys without really doing that book. A small daily practice has had monumental effects. Uh, you know, for the last three years for me?
spk_1:
43:23
Well, yeah. I was gonna ask, what's the most life changing book he read? It sounds like it's l Well,
spk_2:
43:29
that went in a way, because it's established those habits has caused me thio shit, my lenses, other books. There's definitely other books that I read that have also shifted my lenses on in those and improve my life in very similar ways in the fact that they caused me to see the world in Different is
spk_1:
43:48
Okay, that's awesome. Well, movement onto the last monster. You have the inward and outward mindsets. Um, you know what? Wait, Woody, can you kind of break those down and And what those air
spk_2:
44:01
for sure. And this This relates to how we talked. We're gonna come full circle, go back to our homelessness example. And how did we see these homeless people? Because when we have an inward mindset. So this is the negative mindset we see ourselves as being Maur important of numbers and when we see ourselves as being more important than others, were inclined to see them as objects, maybe instruments to get us where we want to go, or barriers that we need to get out of our way so that we can get where we want to go. But if we have an outward mindset, we see others is being Justus important ourselves, their needs and wants matter just as much as our own. And when we're able to see others in that way, we see them as people and we value themselves. And so when we have this an inward mind set and we see this homeless person where clients say I'm better than you and I'm okay not providing you with assistance because you're just in object. Whereas if we see this homeless person as a person that has needs and feelings the same as me, we're gonna be much more empathetic to that situation. And so these two, that's a mindsets really affect how we navigate our relationships in our world and how successfully navigate those.
spk_1:
45:19
Uh huh, that's good. Like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense, especially you know, looking at, Like you said when you're approached by these people and they, you know, people that are in different situations and you could be better could be worse. You know? How do you handle them? And how do you How do you deal with it? I mean, that's that's really something I struggle with personally because, you know, when they do, Because I live in Nashville. So sometimes they'll people approach you, And it's just kind of like it is. This will be like, later at night. And you don't really feel safe because you're like our jeez, you know, what if something happens and stuff? Yeah. So, yeah, definitely understand what you're saying. They're
spk_2:
46:05
Well, let me let me give you another example that takes this kind of two enough there. Left. Are Either of you guys are kind of in almost sec country or you guys football fans at all. What balls? What's that? The balls. Yeah. Okay. Devotes. All right. Good. So, um, so are you guys familiar with Tom Coughlin? Who Tom Coughlin is?
spk_1:
46:33
Is he a coach?
spk_2:
46:34
Yeah. So he's a former coach of the New York Giants. And when he was head coach of the New York Giants. He won two Super Bowl, so pretty successful head coach was there for a pretty long period of time. Well, when he stepped down as head coach of the New York Giants, he took a position as being the president for the Jacksonville Jaguars. And the Jacksonville Jaguars. Have storm historically, haven't been a very good tea, and so I think we've gotta anticipate that if he's making this shift from the Giants to the Jacksonville Jaguars, he's probably thinks that this is an opportunity for him to kind of turn around this organization. I think we've gotta anticipate that he wants to have a positive effect on this organization.
spk_1:
47:20
Yeah, so as going head, I get head on against the challenge. Yeah,
spk_2:
47:24
yeah, you know, that's a great thing to d'oh. You know, credit for doing that. But here's the thing That's interesting to me is he was in the position for about three years and during this last, and he's got a known to be a disciplinary such as he actually would set all the clocks in the building five minutes fast. So as his role was, if you were on time you're late. You're only on time if you're five minutes early.
spk_1:
47:52
Yeah, Vince Lombardi did that to
spk_0:
47:54
think That's what it's about. The site that reminds me Lombardi time.
spk_2:
47:58
So you know. So he's got good intentions. But one of the things that he did with this is he attached some finds to some of these type of rules because in his mind, he's probably thinking, I just gotta instill discipline with this football team and if their discipline will be better and and in this process, my guess. You know I can't guarantee this, but my guess is he's starting to see his players not as people but as objects. T kind of help him be successful. And here's what ended up happening is during the course of this last football season at the Jacksonville Jaguars. They represent three. The players represent 3% of all NFL players because there's 32 teams, so that's a little over 3% of all NFL players. But what the NFL Players Association they came out and with the report that said 25% of all of the complaints across all football players come from the Jacksonville Jaguars. Here's the situation. 3% of the population is driving 25% of the complaints. And this is to the point where the players association says we can no longer recommend that. Put that NFL players play for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Uh, and so you know, rightfully so. The owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars promptly fires Tom Coughlin. But but here's why. I like the situation is such a great example is because here's the situation where Tom Coughlin, if you were to ask him, Were you trying your best? I think you would say yes, but his best was getting in the way of success. He actually had a negative effect, the exact opposite of his intentions and and hopefully, I would say, probably unlikely, though it's unlikely that he's going to see that he was the problem as opposed to everybody else. And it was probably rooted in his mind sets one of them probably being an inward mindset. If I was to guess that he wasn't doing his players as people, he was viewing them as objects, uh, and objectifying them because you probably it would be really hard to be a strict disciplinarian with all the base nitty gritty finds. It would be hard to do that if you saw them as people. I think,
spk_1:
50:24
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah,
spk_0:
50:28
reminds me. Tell you what? That statement that you're well, that story that you're talking about You said it was Tom was the man's name around with the coach. Yeah, Tom Coughlin. But anyway, one of the things that it reminds me over the statement that I heard it says people don't care what you know until they know you care. So it's It's one of those things where, and I'm not saying that's about time. I don't know his situation, but I do know for a fact if people you know, they sense that you don't care about them, it's not that easy to get them to follow you. I mean, because they're thinking, What's the motive and which I mean, you know, it may sound, you know, uh, may sound corny to say this, but in life I've found out you know, the things that matter is the eternal value things and in regards to how you treat people and, you know, caring about people in the moment. I mean, yes, it's about success to a certain degree. But most everything comes down to how you people relationships, your friends, your family, you know? I mean, those are the things that you remember and do. I mean, most things you do, even your accolades. I mean, they go away. So I mean, if you you can on a daily basis, get to the point where you're treating people the way you want to be treated and you're carrying about Tripp people, I think you'll find more success. And you also have more value in your life. So But that just reminded me that state. But you know that people don't care what you know until they know that you care.
spk_2:
52:02
I will love it because I, I think from a very young age, were just naturally inclined to assess. Is this person seeing me as a person or is an object? Yeah. And so I think we're pretty good. I'm picking up that information. And so if we're walking around within it over, my percent, we're just gonna have one is people aren't going to respond to us as positively as we would like them.
spk_0:
52:30
Yeah, I think it's safer. Important, though, because I run into this from time to time and people don't. I don't know if they realize they're doing it or not, but people have a way of condescending, and it is really easy. What? Somebody ever picks that up on you. And I'm not talking about either one of you guys. Okay, So please don't take that way. Uh, but when I'm somebody outside of this conversation, I have seen that where people would talk at somebody rather than to somebody and those type of things have a tendency to put a negative, you know, emotion. You know, our Glee's people with a negative connotation with the, you know, presentation you're have right in front of them are your conversation. So I've noticed that that, you know, making sure that how you talk with somebody, you know, that you're taking time to actually talk with the person rather than have an agenda, you know, and it happens. I mean, we all do it. I mean, to a certain degree, I mean, we generally in today's fast paced world, we have an agenda on a lot of cases, or I do. Maybe I should speak for myself, but I think it's important to to get to the point where we're actually talking to the person rather than what they can do for us at that moment.
spk_1:
53:47
Yeah, yeah, that's good. Well, um, I was thinking just I did have a question about I kind of like a situation like Thio kind of almost like an example for one of the months. It's, um and it pertains that kind of the business entrepreneurs. So let's say you're in the inn entrepreneur, and you're you want to create something like Tesla Aggieland mustard and let's say you you will. You want to create cars that have batteries. And 20 years ago, people would say, You're crazy. So I'm sure that his important work was very small. His feedback was mostly probably negative. People were saying, Can't do this Can't be done. It's impossible that that Okay, so at that point, you know, going to guess the grain. You know, you're fighting social conformity you're fighting. You're fighting basically almost a lot of things because you're trying to innovate because innovators really have to go against the grain. Would you have to have a certain amount of open or closed mind set to be able to handle that situation.
spk_2:
55:07
Yeah. So I think the number one thing in terms of the mind set framework that we talked about, the number one thing that we need to have is we need to have a promotion mindset. What is the destination that were shooting towards Now? My guess is that somebody like Elon Musk he had a purpose that he was shooting towards, um, and even a sense of what he wanted to create. But probably at the end of the day, he didn't know what exactly would would come of it. So what he had was a destination that wasn't super specific. But he's, you know, maybe his destination was just I want to change the automobile industry by making it more economically friendly and environmentally conscious. All right, now, the fact that he produced a beautiful car that essentially operates like a sports car is icing on the cake. So number one is he's got this promotion mindset, but he's also gotta have a growth mindset in order to get there. Because if you don't believe that you can learn and grow along the way, there's no way that you're gonna take on that challenge. Um, he's probably gotta happen at some level or to a certain degree. Gotta have an outward mindset because you've gotta have If you really want something to be successful, you've gotta have the consumer in my you've got to see them not as dollar signs but his people. And you gotta focus on how are you gonna add value to their lives? Um, and then now the one that's a little tricky is the closed versus open, because you've gotta have an open mind set at least to some people because you've gotta learn and grow because you're developing a new technology where you kind of gotta be close minded a little bit is what the people were saying. You can't do this. Um, and a lot of people, it's helpful to think close minded isn't always necessarily like a super bad, I think, because of another way to think about it is I'm an implementation mode. Now. We can be an implementation mode and also take in ideas and suggestions of others and naturally important. But there is a certain amount of value of being an implementation mode, and I think that that's connected pretty strongly with this promotion mindset. So anyway, I'm just kind of used our framework to kind of get a sense of how do we think about it? And another way to think about this is so the four positive mind sets our growth open promotion and out. Well, if we have those four minds, that's we're going to be more agile and more future ready than if we are fixed, close prevention and in work. And so I think if we want to be agile and future ready, we've got to develop these four positive mindsets.
spk_1:
57:54
Yeah, yeah, I think that was ah, home run right there. Used every single one has a great Do you think about that job?
spk_0:
58:02
I think it's great. And to be honest with you, it's something that if he was open to it, we could have a whole Siri's with him. I'm telling you, I've got nothing but questions over here, Ryan, but I didn't want to be respectful of your time. I do want we've talked a little bit about your website and where they can go on Get that. And I'm sure Patrick can put up some links or I can't as well, but we want to make sure that people have access to your book promoting that, uh, I think it's clear that he knows a lot about this subject. I mean, you know, So you guys, if you're really interested in minds, said, I think this is talking and please tell me if I'm wrong run. But this is more about the proxy, Tess, because if you can master a process and a mind, set it, figure these out, you can have more success. And that's the way I look at it. Anyway, I hope you guys see that as well. But like I said, I want to be respectful of Ryan's time. We've had him on here for a while. Then I could have you here all night. When you question, I love
spk_2:
59:01
talking about it, so that's great. You probably can't get me to shut up. I
spk_0:
59:05
didn't know what. To be honest, we, like, said I'm open to serious just throwing that out there.
spk_2:
59:09
Yeah, I know, but I think on and this is really like the reason why I wrote my book Success. Mindsets Is that because I probably wrote the book number one because I needed the mindset work more than anybody else. Like I've been on the negative side of all these, and I didn't really like this in the moment, but I was getting in the way of my own success, and as I've shifted my mind sets more toward the positive, and I still got some work to do. But it's just the success just kind of is coming naturally and and what I what? And so one that's one resign brother. But that second recital of the book is to help people awaken to their mindset, says something that's dictating the their lives that they never were conscious of before. And and I've gotten some of my books just while we're recording. This has just been out a week. I've gotten so incredibly positive feedback that essentially people are saying that they've never taken a deeper, introspective diving into themselves. And to me, that means the world, because if we want to unlock greater success, we've gotta start with ourselves and our foundations. We don't start with doing things differently and better, because if we still carry around the negative mindsets, doing things differently isn't going to necessarily result in change we've gotta start with ourselves and our most foundational aspects of about ourselves. And that's our mindsets. And so, hopefully, if nothing else other than on this bike, I guess we're just giving people greater motivation to die and deeper within themselves so that they can unlock greater success.
spk_1:
20:00:46
Yeah, that's great. Well, yeah, totally, totally agree. I'm reading the book right now. Don't want to spoil it. Spoil it for anyone. But it's really good. Guys, listen to it every morning at the GM. Um, but yeah, means great show. Great. Having you what? Some contact info there we can get for you.
spk_2:
20:01:04
Yeah, my websites Ryan got Fridson dot com. You also connect with me on LinkedIn and through one of those two places and probably the best way to get a hold of me.
spk_1:
20:01:13
Awesome. And, uh, Well, guys, thanks for listening to show your ex except for this show is to go check out Dr Ryan and take the assessment. Knock that out, see what you get. See if you're as closed minded as my friend and you know how it goes. So thanks. Will listen to show guys jeffy get anything else.
spk_0:
20:01:30
I just wanna thank Ryan for being here and thank you. Patrick is well for being here. Great show, guys. I just really, really like adding this value to the people that listen to the podcast. And I'm really serious about that run as far as that Siri's. Maybe we can work something out. We'll figure something out there, but all right, thank you guys for listening.
spk_1:
20:01:56
Are you feeling entre fied yet? We hope so. For more information and news updates, check us out at www dot entre five dot com or contact Patrick directly on facebook dot com slash patrick Hughes 9000
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